“ 'Cause everything is never as it seems ”
line from the song "fireflies" by someone called Owl City
for WeWritePoems
the woman who was an old maple tree
her hair below the line of gray is black
a painted matte without the gloss of coal
and sparse as winter grass
her arms are thin
almost emaciated
lacking strength,
she who was lithe
enough to thread her body
through a wedding ring
can’t bend to pick up pins or pennies
her chest within its narrow ribs
is round and hard
a wooden cage with welded cooper’s bands
her breathing comes in gasps
as thin as window glass
she thought of the immaculate
when her womb began to swell
but knows the pain
is wrong for blessing
still bears it for remembrance
like the black that lacks the gloss of coal.
13 comments:
A vivid picture. I like:
she who was lithe
enough to thread her body
through a wedding ring
The title makes me suspect everything's that said, and the final line is devastating too.
Vivid, as Mary said, but also sad. I like the hard 'A' sounds that are dotted through.
I was going out to check the mail, and something in the light or my mood, something I couldn’t catch with a camera showed me that scrawny scarred water-jointed limb of the maple in the yard as an old woman’s arm, raised reaching for something. The rest followed.
her hair below the line of gray is black
a painted matte without the gloss of coal
and sparse as winter grass
Love the metaphors—
beautifully crafted poem.
Linda
Beautiful poem!
Pamela
like the wedding ring
Love several of the lines here especially her body threaded through a wedding ring. You make her come alive and breathe.
Elizabeth
Such a well written poem. Pleasure to read it.
warming up the worms
I cannot guess how long it took to craft such a deft description of an elderly person, late in life 'blessed' with illness. This description has so many beautiful phrases and the cadance of the phrasing flows so well. The sum total of this portrait is one I hope to recall as a model should I write a portrait.
A creative and unique take on the prompt. And, I agree with Derrick, also sad.
Rich right words, certainly ripe, and then when the bowl seems just full, there's an image taking flight, where we didn't expect to go. So well expressed, visceral, close to where we live inside these skins.
Excellent!
~Neil
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